Planning for Adulthood

Bridget Murphy

Parent of 32yo son with Down Syndrome

2024-05-19

Bridget Murphy is a mother to a 32yo son with Down Syndrome. She shared her experience and wisdom about the transition to adulthood.

Notes from May 19th - Bridget Murphy - Planning for Adulthood

At 21yo IDEA services end. Parents typically start planning for adulthood in April of their child's senior year of high school. We need to start planning now.
Step 1: Develop a "Vision Statement" — goals for your child's adult life:
Have meaningful employment that adds value to society
Live away from home
Have a social life
Step 2: Develop a "Mission Statement" — plan to achieve the vision. List requirements for each vision statement.
Example: In order to live away from home our child needs to: Communicate, read, tell time, dress himself, dishes, laundry, housekeeping, transportation.
Bridget advocates total openness with the community about your child's disability — it helps the school and community approach your child from understanding, not apprehension.
Birthday party strategy: Offer to attend birthday parties with your child. Bring the best gift so the classmate wants to invite him back.
Discipline: Ensure consequences logically follow from the misbehavior. Example: potty training accident → child cleans it up hand-over-hand.
Don't neglect your typically developing children — apparent favoritism can foster resentment.

There is a middle ground between full employment and a day program
Let interests guide the decision
"Own the risk" during the transition — educate the employer, give them strategies, give them an out. "If it doesn't go well after 2 weeks we can part ways, no questions."
When you own the risk it gives them freedom to learn what you already know: your child will be a HUGE value!