--- date: "2026-04-19" speaker: "Ivory Duncan" organization: "Founder, Embracing Neuro-Diversity" topic: "Advocating for Your Child in the IEP Process" blurb: "Ivory Duncan is a proud mother of a neurodiverse child. Her experience spans Title I schools, postsecondary leadership design, and equity training. She hosts the podcast Embracing Neuro-Diversity." --- # Ivory Duncan - Advocating for Your Child in the IEP Process **Date:** 2026-04-19 **Organization:** Founder, Embracing Neuro-Diversity > Ivory Duncan is a proud mother of a neurodiverse child. Ivory's experience spans Title I schools, postsecondary leadership design, and equity training, serving culturally and linguistically diverse communities. Recently returning to her hometown of Kansas City after 15 years in Chicago, Ivory is passionate about making a local impact through her expertise. Beyond education, she hosts the podcast [Embracing Neuro-Diversity](https://linktr.ee/embracingneurodiversity), offering support to parents of neurodiverse children. ## Notes from April 19th - Ivory Duncan - IEP Advocacy ### Ivory's Story & Embracing Neuro-Diversity - Ivory is a native Kansas Citian who spent 15+ years in Chicago as a history teacher, assistant principal, and education consultant before moving back about three years ago. - Her son (born 2016) was diagnosed with autism at age 4 in Chicago after a year-and-a-half wait list. The early speech therapist's written evaluation said "literally no signs of autism" — a reminder that early evaluations can miss the mark. - The diagnosing doctor told her "this is not a death sentence... if you give him the services he needs, he will be okay." That empathetic framing stayed with Ivory and shaped how she counsels other parents. - Ivory researched Kansas City districts and strategically moved to Lee's Summit, which showed up in her research as one of the top three Missouri districts for autism supports. - She founded [Embracing Neuro-Diversity](https://linktr.ee/embracingneurodiversity) to fill the gap she experienced — the need for guidance from someone who shares the lived experience of being an autism parent, not just a professional coach. - She has also written children's books reflecting the stories of neurodiverse children like her son. ### Framework: Discovery → Acceptance → Embracing - Ivory's framework is inspired by the cycle of grief — you don't pass through it once. You can traverse the full cycle in an hour or over the course of years. - **Discovery:** shifting role of parents; seeking answers and diagnosis; grief, confusion, relief; "you matter too." - **Acceptance:** half the battle — learning to accept the differences your child brings into the world. - **Embracing:** seeing differences not as deficits but as strengths that can be cultivated with the right systems. - Every new characteristic (a food refusal, a speech milestone, a social challenge) can put you back at Discovery. That is normal. ### 90-Day First-Steps Handbook - Ivory wrote a 90-Day First-Steps Handbook in parent-friendly language for newly diagnosed families — stepping through what to do after the diagnosis. - The guide includes poignant questions about how parents are feeling; it is okay to grieve; your child is not "scarred." - Build an "arsenal of coaches" — speech, OT, ABA, BCBA, PT — based on what your child needs. ### IEP Basics - Schools will not offer an IEP on their own — the parent must **request the evaluation in writing**. Once requested, the school is legally charged to complete it. - The evaluation window is **30 days in Missouri**; some Kansas districts quote up to 60 days. - The evaluation determines *whether* an IEP is warranted — it is not a guarantee. - The IEP is valid for one year, with a mid-year review and an end-of-year review. - **IEP = academic goals and services. 504 = medical or behavioral accommodations** (e.g., anxiety support, sensory breaks). - A child with strong academics but social-emotional needs may get a 504 instead of an IEP — that is not necessarily bad, but if you disagree and have evidence your child is not meeting academic benchmarks, push back and request an independent evaluation. ### IEP Meeting Strategy - **Go in as the person in charge.** Bring your own questions, expectations, and desired goals. Don't wait for the school to tell you what is best — you know your child. - The school should share a draft IEP **at least two weeks before** the meeting. If you receive it less than a week out, that is a red flag. - Bring your child's outside therapists (BCBA, speech, OT, PT). They speak the school's language and frequently catch problematic language or missing services. - You can record the meeting. Many families give 24-hour notice; check your state's consent rules. - **Do not sign the IEP on the spot.** Take it home, mark it up, and reconvene. The school cannot finalize the IEP without parental consent, so you control the pace. - Schools often try to rush through the meeting — it is another item on their checklist. It is your child. Slow down, pause, ask questions. ### Measurable (SMART) Goals - Every goal must be numerical — a **baseline**, a **target**, and a **timeline**. "Improve reading skills" is not measurable. - Good examples: "identify 30 sight words (currently at 10)"; "attend to a read-aloud for 7 minutes (currently 5)"; "independently communicate at least 15 different phrases using 3+ words (currently 8)." - Beware compound-probability goals like "70% of the time, 2 out of 4 trials" — that works out to roughly 35%. Schools sometimes stack probabilities to make progress look better than it is. - When the school says "he has made progress," ask **what** progress, in numbers, and **what** they are doing to move the needle (accommodations, interventions). - Request graphs of progress. If the data bounces up and down and they draw a trend line claiming progress, push back — that is a conversation about inconsistency, not progress. ### Communication With Teachers & Administrators - Build rapport at Meet-the-Teacher night so the teacher knows your face and expects to hear from you. - **"No news is good news" is not acceptable.** If communication tapers off, follow up directly. For nonverbal kids especially, you need the daily touch points. - Keep tone assertive **and** kind. Everything should be professional, documented, and direct. - If communication does not improve, CC the next person up the chain. You are not over-communicating — you are documenting. ### When You Disagree - Put concerns and questions in **writing** after reviewing the draft IEP at home. The school must follow up on written concerns. - Changes to the IEP cannot be finalized by email alone — a meeting must happen. Email is for redlines, questions, and documentation. - If the school denies a request (more minutes, a service, a placement change), ask for a **Prior Written Notice (PWN)** documenting the denial and the rationale. - If you disagree with the school's evaluation, you can request an **Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE)**. - The IEP cannot be adopted without your consent. Pause as long as you need to. - You cannot directly dictate service minutes — schools have caseload constraints. Instead, argue indirectly: if the goal list is too long for the allotted minutes, make that case. ### Navigating School Programs & Placement - Districts often lack transparency about their program names (CLASS, SAIL, etc.). **Ask what the program looks like in practice** before accepting a placement. - Ivory's son was placed in a similar named program she was initially skeptical of; once she asked specific questions, she learned it had more peers with similar needs, more robust therapies, and a socialization curriculum his home school did not offer. Her son's IEP now splits 50/50 between gen-ed and special-ed classes. - If a district says it cannot accommodate your child, it is legally obligated to find a way — sometimes that means a different building, sometimes that means building a new fit. Parents who pushed (sometimes with an outside BCBA in the room) got their kids into neighborhood schools that initially said no. - Do not accept a more restrictive setting by default. Ask what is available, state what you want, and iterate. ### Q&A Highlights - **Q: How often do you get an IEP?** A: Request it now; evaluation takes 30 days (Missouri). Once written, the IEP is valid a year with mid-year and end-of-year reviews. - **Q: End-of-year comes and they claim "progress" but no goal was met — what do I do?** A: Demand the numbers behind the claim. Ask what interventions they are using. If denied services, request a PWN. Consider an IEE. - **Q: Can I record the IEP meeting?** A: Yes — check local consent rules; notifying 24 hours in advance is common practice. - **Q: We are homeschooling but want an IEP as a backup / to stay visible in Child Find.** A: A stale IEP loses weight the longer a child is out of public school. When they re-enter, the district will re-evaluate. A prior IEP does, however, keep the child visible in Child Find data. - **Q: My child has a 504 and school says IEP is not warranted even though I disagree.** A: The 504 is medical/behavioral; the IEP is academic. If you have evidence your child is not meeting academic benchmarks, bring a third-party evaluator. ### Further Reading - [Embracing Neuro-Diversity](https://linktr.ee/embracingneurodiversity) — Ivory's site, podcast, children's books, and 90-Day First-Steps Handbook. - [Wrightslaw](https://www.wrightslaw.com/) — comprehensive special-education law reference (IEPs, PWN, IEE, due process). - [Understood.org: The difference between IEPs and 504 plans](https://www.understood.org/en/articles/the-difference-between-ieps-and-504-plans) — plain-language comparison.